


not far from you

by Artemis1000



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Codex Entries (Dragon Age), Epistolary, Established Relationship, F/F, Married Couple, Search for a Cure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-20 01:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis1000/pseuds/Artemis1000
Summary: Far less is known about our queen’s mysterious disappearance. For two years, Elissa Cousland vanished from Ferelden. There was many a lurid rumor about the circumstances of her death or betrayal, yet Queen Anora insisted that she was away on Warden business and would speak no more on the matter.





	not far from you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rhovanel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhovanel/gifts).

The marriage of Anora Mac Tir and Elissa Cousland has been a wellspring of fascination ever since the day it was first announced at the legendary Landsmeet of 9:31 Dragon, which saw Anora Mac Tir elected as queen regnant.

We have all witnessed their wise and capable rule, we have enjoyed the peace and stability they brought Ferelden in the years prior to the Mage-Templar War.

Yet even today, little but rumors is known of their private lives. The queens were intensely private women and Queen Anora, at least, was known to consider carefully how she was perceived in public. We can say with near certainty that theirs was a happy marriage, likely political at first but growing into a love match. Poems have been written about the obvious relief Queen Anora displayed when she learned that Queen Elissa had survived the battle for Amaranthine, defeating the darkspawn threatening Ferelden for the second time in as many years. 

Far less is known about our queen’s mysterious disappearance. For two years, Elissa Cousland vanished from Ferelden. There was many a lurid rumor about the circumstances of her death or betrayal, yet Queen Anora insisted that she was away on Warden business and would speak no more on the matter.

All reports agree that these years were hard on Queen Anora, though less romantic scholars insist it was dealing with the Mage-Templar War and the threat of Corypheus that burdened her, not so much longing for her absent wife. I say it was likely both.

_A Short History of the Kings and Queens of Ferelden_

* * *

Elissa,

the castle is strangely empty without you. It is as filled with courtiers and servants as ever but something vital is missing.

You promised me you would return. I hope you realize I will hold you to this promise.

Anora

* * *

Elissa,

I have not written to you again, as I wouldn’t know where to send the raven and I’m far too busy to waste time on maudlin letters that will never be sent. I know the Calling gave you no choice but you couldn’t have chosen a worse time to leave.

I still disagree with you going off by yourself on a fool’s errand. We have a kingdom’s resources at our disposal. I would send loyal mages and scholars to every corner of Thedas. What can you find that they can’t?

Yes, I worry. Your ravens know where to find me and yet you haven’t written.

The people are fearful. First the mayhem between mages and Templars, now the disappearance of their queen. They trust in you. They ask questions I can’t answer.

Try not to dither.

Anora

* * *

My darling Anora,

I know you must be spitting mad by now and I’m so very sorry I didn’t write to you any earlier but I knew if I sat down to pen a letter, I wouldn’t be able to resist turning around and riding back to Denerim as fast as I can.

I’ve found some trouble now, or rather trouble has found me, and I’m too tied up to be riding anywhere until it’s resolved. Nothing to worry about! Just the regular kind of trouble; darkspawn and demons and the likes. You know how it goes.

I miss you terribly. I go to bed alone and wake up alone (except for Barkspawn) and I keep wondering why I’m doing this to myself. Then I have another dream or the Calling gets more persistent and I remember. I’m not going to go down without a fight. I’ll find a Cure. I will. I’m not ready to be done with us. We have so much life to live still. I want another decade with you and many more. I want to grow old with you and watch you scowl at the mirror as your beautiful golden hair turns grey. I want to watch the Landsmeet elect a good, capable ruler to take our place and know we have done all we could for Ferelden. Most of all, I want to have many more mornings where I wake up entwined with you, I want to kiss you awake sometimes tenderly and sometimes passionately and know that there will be more mornings for us.

There are other things I want, too.

Right now, I can’t stop thinking of you at your desk, reading letters like this one (well, not like this one, I hope you won’t consider this one work.) The blush on your cheeks when I slip down from your lap to kneel between your legs, when I slowly hitch up your skirts and tease your legs apart. I want to tease you open with my tongue and taste you, I want to wring all these delicious little hitched breaths and stifled moans from you as you try to keep working as if nothing is happening. You are so stubborn, my love, and you taste so sweet when you come for me.

I want you.

I want to be at your side.

Praise Andraste for that demon or I’d be turning around this very night.

Forever yours,

Elissa

* * *

Elissa Cousland,

if I never again have to read “praise Andraste for that demon” it will be too soon.

I’m sending this letter in the hope it will arrive before you move on, as unlikely as that is.

I’m writing it at my desk, just so you know, and my office is sadly devoid of infuriatingly distracting, foolhardy warriors.

Don’t die. I won’t forgive you if you die.

Anora

* * *

My darling Anora,

I fought another dragon today and everything is hurting but I’m fine. Only slightly scorched. Us Couslands, we’re sturdy stuff. Mother was a pirate, you know. Too bad that watery family history didn’t make me fireproof – but I’m only a little bit singed at the edges, don’t worry!

Lately, I have often been thinking of the day we agreed to marry. I didn’t trust you and I bet you didn’t trust me either. I never expected to marry for love, noble marriages being as they are, but I had hoped for someone I could trust not to kill me in the wedding night. Instead, I got you and you intimidated the hell out of me. (But the wedding night was unforgettable, and not just for the lack of murder. Seeing you come undone under my hands for the first time took the place of the archdemon dead at my feet as my favorite memory.) 

I’m so grateful I had the courage to say yes. I almost didn’t, you know. Now I don’t even want to imagine a life without you.

I just want to be home already. Adventuring is great but it’s not the same without you. Barkspawn gives good hugs but he is a terrible conversationalist. And you’re my wife and I love you, that, too.

Elissa

* * *

Dear Anora,

I hunger for every scrap of news from Ferelden and what I hear worries me.

Please stay safe. I know I don’t need to ask you to keep our country safe but I worry that you will worry only about the country and not at all about yourself. Ferelden needs you, love. <strike>Especially if I</strike> They need you to be strong and proud and fearless for them but for all of this you must be unhurt. Please be careful, keep the guards close. For such a fine lady you make enemies easily.

It’s interesting to listen to the stories, though. Out here, people don’t know who I am so I get the stories they tell another, not the ones they think the Hero would want to hear about herself.

There are still a whole lot of stories about me (I sound like a very heroic and dreadfully boring person, I don’t think I would like me at all) but there are many stories about us, too. Because there aren’t too many queens ruling with other queens, of course, but also because it’s us. Two houses at war, reunited by love and all that. It makes for a good story.

Our story gives people hope. WE give them hope. Even out here, well beyond Ferelden’s borders. They look towards us as what monarchs can be, if a country is lucky. It’s humbling and terrifying and I’m so terribly proud of you whenever people speak well of Queen Anora of Ferelden, and it’s all I can do to keep from bursting out “that’s my wife!”

But there really is a lot of talk about mages and Templars and now it looks like there’s trouble brewing in Orlais, too? I keep thinking about going home but my leads are finally going somewhere good. I’m thinking it could be just another two, three months. Of course, that’s what I thought three months ago too but I’ve got a good feeling this time.

Elissa

* * *

Anora,

I leave Ferelden for five minutes and someone blows a hole in the sky? Seriously?

Please tell me you’re okay. I’ll stay in town until I have word you are safe and sound. Nobody has mentioned you attending the Conclave but nobody has said that you didn’t. The fear is killing me.

Elissa

* * *

Dear Elissa,

I’m well. I wasn’t anywhere near Haven, I was in Denerim. Too much has happened to describe in a letter that can be carried by raven, I’m sure you will hear the distorted tales soon enough.

Find the cure, Elissa, or return and let us help. You have an entire country of people willing to help you. You don’t need to do this alone anymore.

Anora

* * *

My darling Anora,

please don’t be angry with me for going silent on you. Not many ravens or messengers or anything else to be found out here.

I’m close. This is it. I can feel it. It’s now or never.

I’m frightened. What if it’s never? I will have wasted all that time, keeping us apart for nothing. But if I succeed it will have been worth it, not just for me but for every Grey Warden. We can serve our years without certain death looming over us. The Grey Wardens will finally be a real second chance instead of a slower death sentence.

I want to return to you already. I want to live our life. I’m even missing the council meetings, can you imagine? That’s a true sign of me being desperate. I promise I won’t complain about them ever again. Well, at least for a year, anyway. Three months? I’m sure I can manage three months.

The next time I write to you, I will have my answer.

I love you.

Elissa

* * *

I’m coming home.


End file.
